little update

When feeling bad, it is perhaps a good choice to take a walk in the millenium park. I was told. So yesterday I took a walk and took some photos. I wasn't sure the real reason why I didn't feel good. But I think it's ok. I'm doing fine here. 

Chicago seems to become cooler and cooler each day. Many people are getting sick. I had sore throat yesterday so I immediately took some pills. I was nervous about getting sick. This past summer I got a cold and then it took me like a month to recover. I didn't know why that happened to me.

Anyway, Chicago's weather and people's use of AC kinda make me feel difficult to dress up.

I don't really have many photos of myself these days, because I enjoy taking photos of others. Hehe. Today I didn't make it to a guest speaker's lecture because the hall was full and many students including some professors were not able to get in. I was very disappointed. But I guess this happens a lot since this is a big city and the lecture is open to many people outside of our school. Anyway, I think next time I'll try to be there like an hour before the lecture starts. I hate the feeling of missing something important like this.

Try to remain hopeful

Suddenly moving from a little town like Chambersburg to Chicago could be intimidating and yes, it is intimidating. Although I come from a not so small city in China, in fact, it is perhaps the second largest in size in China, the diversity of Chicago was perhaps the reason that I feel quite uneasy. Now I start to understand why so many people had told me that they prefer living in small places even though they are not that kind of people who have very narrow visions. It is so true that people in the country want to live in the city yet people in the city want to live in the countryside... hehe. I guess what bothers me the most is that the city itself is already very intense and stressful, and then once school starts this pressure will only be doubled since workloads will start to add on. 

So, I'm not really sure if I like this city or not. I've been to busy cities in the states and I loved many of them. I love nyc, I love DC. SF is okay I just needed more time to explore while I was there. But then I came to Chicago I'm not sure if people are really friendly here. I've already met weird people and mean people, or maybe it's just because I look stupid so they don't wanna talk to me. I don't know. 

I do want the classes to start. I kinda want to just concentrate on one thing, just like before in my college, although I don't think that is very applicable to my new situation here. Anyhow... just hope I could be happier about this city life sooner. Well hopefully.

In fact I had two pretty nice days with two new friends. One from mainland and the other from Taiwan. We went shopping, took a cruise at night and watched magnificent fireworks too which made me feel like I was on vacation rather than coming here to pursue a Master's degree. But of course life cannot be like vacation every day and that's when annoying stuff comes. 

Of course people all look happy in pictures...

I don't know. Maybe I'm just writing down some nonsense here since it is a new environment and I'm not sure if I like it or not. We'll see and I'll try my best to remain hopeful.

Back in the US, but in a new city

So the reason that I haven't updated for ages is because I went back to China and there was no way to access blogspot (nor facebook, twitter, youtube) in that country. Hence, I couldn't see many other bloggers' new updates which upset me a lot. But now I'm back in the States so I'm really happy to catch up with many bloggers. I want to keep this English blog going because it's also a way for me to practice my English.

However, I'm no longer in PA. I'm currently in a place one hour away from Chicago. And tomorrow I'm gonna move into an apartment in Chicago--because my grad school is right in the loop.

My summer break was pretty nice. I didn't really do too much stuff regarding academic since I just finished my 100-page thesis and I was so tired to work on anything that needed too much brain cells.. I realized that wasn't really a good thing...

Anyway, I traveled to some places, took some photos, and of course hang out with and ate outside a lot... But to me the most interesting thing was that I finally tried cosplay. >.<

I'm kinda nervous about moving from a little town in PA to Chicago, the third biggest city in the US. Even though I'm from one of the biggest cities in China, it's not the same concept since Chicago is more international and modern. When I met my grad advisor in June, he told me this kind of feeling could happen to many students, but at time I said it wouldn't be a problem for me. But now as school is starting, I can't say that again, hehe.

Well, Chicago does make me excited. Even though I'm kinda nervous, I'm not overly scared. I want to explore the city, just like I did in Pittsburgh. Hopefully I will some new friends too.

I don't know what's in store for me but I think I should look forward to whatever it is there.

Man this blog is so not like my real personality, hahaha, whateve.Just wanna write one and say "I'm back in the States."

Finally some cosplay photos from this summer.

Giveaway on Rox's blog

Today I found this great giveaway on Rox's blog. And she even prepared two sets with one sweet gyaru and one rock gyaru style so you can choose. Rox is an awesome blogger from the Netherlands and I'm sure you'll enjoy reading her blog as well. It is a place full of kawaii stuff and gyaru fashion if you're into Japanese fashion and culture. 

So life has been really hard recently and I should not be blogging right now. But I  feel so depressed and desperate that I just want to get away! Sometimes I'm really an escapist. I know. But only on certain things. And recently I just realized that I've been working on my thesis for ONE year, so maybe it's ok to feel like crap? But hey wait I have to finish everything in order to graduate, which is like exactly a month away... I don't know. I'm just really scared and feel super insecure. So ok I think I need to go back to work. 

And remember to check Rox's blog out. It's something that could lighten your day I hope. :)

P.S. a photo from a while ago when I was still a happy nerd. 

procrastinating

I went out and took some photos of flowers today. It was not a pretty day but because I had to mount a photo for a friend I thought I'd just take my camera along with me. And then, there was only one tree that actually had some blossoms. I think this is sakura. But I'm not sure. Anyways, taking these photos kinda made me sad and homesick because as I thought about it, I haven't spent Spring at home for four years. This is my favorite season and best time to dress up and have some good times with friends. Anyways...

I'm doing ok. Some all-nighters a week, stressing out over thesis and senior shows. But last week when I finally finished my first draft for chapter 3 I was kinda relieved and didn't want to do anything anymore. Even though I'm still kinda behind and have a mini chapter, intro and conclusion, and tons of revision there...

I've been thinking about complicated stuff too. And don't know what I really want to do with myself. I'm always thinking maybe even if I go home there won't be any difference, I won't really be happy, or maybe no place can make me happy.

So I'm basically procrastinating this weekend. Arrrghghghgh hate myself doing this!!! So I'm back to work like, right now!

Keep Japan in mind...

I'm still thinking about Japan all the time, to an extent that some people on my flickr thought I was a Japanese and sent me heart-warming messages. No, I'm actually Chinese. But I do care a lot about Japan I love this place. And I do have friends in Japan so I really, really appreciate those who thought about me online because I know they are actually worrying about Japan's situation. And I'll definitely bring those wishes to the ppl I know in Japan. 


So if you are Japanese and now reading this post, please keep in mind that my heart, and many other people's hearts are with you. We are thinking of you often, following the latest news, and praying from the deepest of our hearts.


Plus as a Chinese, I really want you to know that there're a huge amount of Chinese people on our microblog that closely watch the current situation and support Japan. This even surprised some foreign media because they thought China and Japan have a very complex relationship. However, at this point I really want to tell you guys that, you will be amazed to know how many people are actually like me right now, give their best wishes to Japan. 


It's been days, and the nuclear plants are still in danger. Explosions occurred repeatedly and so many heroic nuclear plant workers risked their lives to ensure people's safety. I am deeply moved by the greatness of human hearts, the warm humanitarian spirit, the self-sacrifice of people in such critical moments... 


There are also many bloggers who started their own ways to help. We are lucky enough not to be at the center of the disaster and we know there're probably not much we can do, but we donate money, we do something to raise more people's awareness of the issue. After all, we all belong to the same world and we should be together as one to overcome difficulties like this, right?


 Please check that Eki is selling handmade accessories and donate 75% to charity. She is a very kind person I really like her a lot. And I already bought something from her new collections. It is for such a good cause I encourage you to check it out and support Japan--her home country.
  

Selling my prints to support Japan

I haven't been updating because my computer broke for an entire week. And when I finally got everything reinstalled, the earthquake and tsunami happened in Japan and I literally couldn't do anything because I was and am very, very worried and concerned about Japan. I didn't even sleep more than 5 hours everyday since it happened because I closely followed the news and did my little coverage on the Chinese twitter site just because my conscious as a "media practitioner" made me feel obliged to do so.

When the disaster happened, I realized that my Japanese friend Noriko was probably in Iwate which is almost the center of the quake, but I wasn't 100% sure if she was there coz she travels alot, nor did I know what would be the best way to contact her because she didn't use internet that much. So, I wrote a msg on facebook, hoping she could see it and just that me know she was ok...

Thank god she replied the next day!!! I was so relieved and that was like the most exciting moment in a few days. She and her family were ok, no one hurt, slowly got water, gas, and electricity back... However, they were worried about the nuclear fuel meltdown... Of course.

I cried for several times at the beginning of this disaster. I kinda have this undesirable "luck" that I could always caught some breaking news. So I basically watched how the tsunami engulfed all the lands in Sendai and other places of Mayagi-ken at realtime. I feel heartbroken and I have said this too many times on twitter and facebook so I'm gonna gonna repeat myself too much here. I also made donation via GlobalGiving but still feel so useless and helpless because that seemed like the only thing I can do but it doesn't even seem to have the power to really change anything in Japan right now...

It's a really, really hard time for the Japanese people. And because in 2008 we had a very bad earthquake in China I could totally feel the pain and desperation, I guess even more than many other people here. But that's not the point. The point is, this is definitely a time when the world should be tied together. We should be as one to support those in great need, in desperation. Please pray for Japan, for Japanese people. And I beg all the nuclear plants to hold on... because that's really the worse thing for now...

Japan is such a lovely country, I'd do whatever I can to help it recover... *tears* But I know I don't have the power to hold a nuclear plant, I don't have the power to pull people out of the ruins... So all I can do support Japanese people. I want to let them know that my heart is with this country...

I took some Japanese inspired photos yesterday (as you can see at the beginning) just because my mind was filled with the news about the catastrophe and I couldn't think of anything else for my photo homework. Japan has been one of my biggest inspirations. I learned about life, philosophy, art, manner... so many things from its traditional culture and pop culture and I've always thinking to learn more. I haven't even been there!

I'll keep following the livestream and newsfeed of this event and support and have faith in Japan!